You moved in with the best intentions, but now their stuff is all over your stuff and you’re starting to feel like a Chi Tornado has hit the space… what to do?
Feng Shui harmony tips for housemate’s
First: Agree to sit down with pen and paper and talk with your roommie about the space and the objects in the space. Go in expecting to compromise and to discuss openly what your likes and dislikes are for the space. No matter how long you’ve lived together, today is a great day to start from scratch! Key to success: don’t take anything personally, or make anything personal!
Second: Designate personal space. Everyone in the home should get a bit of space they can call their own to be as messy or clean as they like. It is often critical that these areas are energetically equal – meaning that they are balanced in terms of desirability and size. You can even rotate ownership on a schedule if that works.
Third: Set boundaries for the common space that include use of electronic equipment, sound, lighting and level of organization. One person is bound to be more neat and organized than the other, so the idea is for both to come half-way.
Fourth: Make a list of items that you can’t decide on and save that list for a follow-up sit-down that you can have in two weeks or more when they dust settles for the things you do decide on.
Fifth: If something your housemate must have seriously bothers you, or vice versa, come up with a solution to cover it while the other person is not at home or during specific periods. I had a client who hated her roommate’s TV. They got an armoire to hold the TV and when it was not in use, and they were both happy!
Sixth: Keep talking! The key to building harmony in your space is to keep feelings from being buried inside. If you have a challenge with confrontation, begin making a list of things to talk to your roommate about and schedule at least a once-a-month time to go over things with him or her. The key is to keep the communication open and start each discussion from a place of appreciation for that person in your life.
It is unlikely that your style is going to match your housemate’s, but you can create harmony between almost any extreme if you set out with that intention. And no matter how much someone’s style bothers you, it is not the object that is going to bring negative energy into your life, but not communicating and dealing with your feelings around it will.