Unspoken Security
Communication Strategies for Data-Driven Leaders
A conversation with AJ Nash on Unspoken Security. Published August 21, 2025. 61 minutes.
Watch on YouTube, inside the full playlist.
THE CONVERSATION
Security and intelligence people trust the data, and data alone rarely moves a room. AJ Nash, nineteen years in the intelligence community, asks Salvatore how technical leaders build influence. The answer covers a four-sentence framework for making a point, why a neutral email reads as negative, two tools for imposter syndrome, and a principle called you then me.
KEY IDEAS
Metaphors move minds
Most of Salvatore’s clients are engineers and scientists, and many arrive saying they do not do metaphors. His answer: metaphors move minds. Engineer to engineer, the data is enough. To influence sales, creative, a board, or anyone outside the data sphere, a metaphor, analogy, story, or example is what makes the numbers click. So he assigns one metaphor a day: pick any object nearby and explain how your job is like it. AJ tries it live with a pair of glasses. For impromptu moments, the HIP framework packs a point into four sentences: headline first, then insights, then a picture, then the point. A blueprint gets a nod. The finished house, shutters and walkway included, gets people to join.
Neutral reads as negative
The biggest challenge Salvatore sees is too much data and not enough connection. The second, common in analytical fields, is a misconception about neutrality. Research shows neutral is negative: an email that is pure data lands as cold to anyone outside the data world. So when you need to correct someone, or hold an opposing view, start with an acknowledgement, one or two sentences on what you appreciate about what they brought. He describes a client, now a CISO at a health organization, who early on was labeled the risk manager who shut things down. She was right, and the room could not swallow it. Opening with appreciation is how she got promoted. Connection before content.
Confidence is where authenticity meets comfort
Asked whether honesty still matters, Salvatore gives his definition: confidence is where authenticity meets comfort. Without integrity the internal compass is off, and agency in a room goes with it. Comfort takes time, because people are conditioned to behave certain ways in certain settings, and that conditioning rarely fits a new context. So there is a stretch where you perform a little. Try on something that does not yet feel like yours until it becomes an authentic truth, and the alternative is staying in the same conference room for the rest of your career. Presence shows up where the two meet.
Two tools for imposter syndrome
It shows up in specific contexts. Before facilitating a session at the World Economic Forum, Salvatore’s imposter monster went into full rage. He called his coach, who marched him around the conference table for ten minutes asking why should they hear you, how do you add value. Two tools follow. The mind: negativity bias hunts for what could go wrong, so ask questions that point at the positive potential. The body: an imposter moment makes the body fold in and self-comfort, so expand, take up space, and let the voice come from the body. Then dig for the beliefs attached to that context. A financial advisor, the only woman at her level, was asked what unique perspective she brings.
Amplify, and find a champion
Most of Salvatore’s clients have been women trying to get heard where they are discounted, under a double standard. His message to them: your message is more important than their nonsense, and the right people will lift you up. Then amplification, a practice he credits to the Obama White House. When one woman made a point, another repeated it and credited her, so the idea stayed hers. Designate a champion in every room who will speak up when it counts, so the target never has to do the education. For any people leader: everyone knows what it feels like to be an outsider. Bring that memory to every meeting and you will notice who is withdrawing.
Space signals strength, then you then me
The amount of space you take up sends a message to the room and to yourself. Elbows away from the body, full gestures, the whole stage. One client had spent so long on Zoom that in person the gestures stayed cramped inside an invisible screen. Move with intention, change position to change emphasis, and lean in for one moment so the audience can feel you. And the principle Salvatore leaves with everyone: you then me. Speak to the other person’s perspective, wants, fears, and hopes, or acknowledge what they just shared, before getting to your agenda. It creates an opening and the possibility of collaboration, even when what follows is that they are completely wrong.
IN HIS WORDS
“For me, confidence is where authenticity meets comfort. If I’m not being authentic and honest, there’s a part of my internal compass off and I can’t show up with confidence.”
“When you have an opposing idea, when you need to correct someone, when you know what’s right, but you don’t want to simply step on someone, start with an acknowledgement.”
“If you want to feel more confident in a room, just take up more space and watch what happens internally.”
LISTEN AND FOLLOW
Thank you to AJ Nash for the invitation and the questions. Subscribe to the show for the rest of the catalog.
The frameworks behind this conversation.
Clear and Compelling collects the principles, strategies, techniques, and frameworks Salvatore teaches on shows like this one, written for analytical, technical, and introverted leaders. Morgan James Publishing, October 2026.