The short answer: Name the quality you admire in another speaker; recognizing it means the capacity already lives in you. Practice your version of it in small doses until it feels like yours. 1:1 coaching makes those doses deliberate.
"This feels performative. This feels inauthentic." - GREAT, you're doing it right!
Discomfort is the Gateway to Authentic Growth
TL;DR
Fake it Until you Make IT = Discomfort by Design 👉 At first, it feels fake. 👉 Then, it feels possible. 👉 Finally, it feels authentic. Just like a new haircut takes time to feel like “you,” so does a new leadership style. That awkward phase? It’s proof you’re expanding. The next time you catch yourself thinking “This doesn’t feel like me”—pause. It may actually be the future version of you taking shape.Should you fake it and feel inauthentic? YES!
People can tell when you’re faking it, but it takes a few times of faking it before it becomes your authentic style. The bitter medicine of professional growth is that performative feeling of stepping into new territory as a leader and speaker. It’s like getting a radically different haircut. At first, when you catch your reflection, it feels off. Friends and colleagues respond differently. You wonder if it suits you, or if they can tell you’re still unsure. After a few days, something shifts. You begin to inhabit the new style with confidence. It becomes less about “trying it on” and more about “owning it.” Leadership growth works the same way. If we only stick to what feels comfortable, we trap ourselves inside our old reflection. The strategies and habits that got us this far won’t necessarily take us where we want to go next. Growth demands that we step into behaviors that initially feel unnatural. “Fake it until you make it” is about practicing the future version of yourself until it becomes authentic. Every meaningful leap in leadership feels awkward at first. It’s a sign you’re expanding. The discomfort is the raw material that shapes a more capable, more influential version of you. Just as the new haircut eventually feels like it was always yours, the new behaviors eventually fuse with your identity. If you’ve seen someone show up in a profound way and thought, “I wish I could embody that,” name it. If you can “Spot It, You Got It.” Once you can identify what it is, begin to weave it into your own style, awkwardly at first, then naturally. If you’d like to explore how to get there with strategy and confidence, let’s talk. Schedule a time. We’ll help you own your next haircut with influential leadership.My new book, Clear and Compelling, explores ways to embrace the discomfort.