When you have to keep going

What can I do?

After the shock and anger has worn off, as has my denial that so many were needlessly slaughtered in #Orlando, I am left in the state of negotiation. What can I do? I’ll do almost anything to make this better.

I had just gotten to the gym when I heard the news. The charge I felt drove me to workout harder than I’ve ever done before, and left me unable to move for days after.

My friend was in dance class when she heard and when they filmed the end of the class, they were more in synch, flowing and popping in perfect rhythm than ever.

What did you pour yourself into when you heard?

After a long search, I came up with what I personally need to do. What I need to pour myself into. The thing I can do that will make a difference…

I’m going to forgive myself.

I’m forgiving myself for feeling scared, for feeling out of control, for feeling angry and having angry thoughts toward those who’s job I thought it was to prevent this. I’m forgiving myself for not knowing what to do and feeling like there is nothing I can do and wondering if life has any meaning. Lastly, I’m forgiving myself for losing faith, for letting terror dim, even for one second, my hope and belief in the power of love.

Forgiving myself will give me the space to forgive others. Accepting myself allows me to accept others.

And so, it is my #mission: to create a world of love through forgiveness and acceptance.

Peace to each and every soul.